I’m still alive

Thought I should check in. I haven’t really felt like blogging but maybe a couple of you are wondering what is going on with me or more specifically us.

OH is still here. He came back the next day and though I couldn’t have him in the same bed I couldn’t have him wandering the streets like a homeless. Obviously it’s been a while since it now. I thought about it, asked questions, cried a little, got another apology, cried some more and basically lived in limbo for a week. I came to the conclusion that I either had to make a break or stay. I’m sure you can guess what I chose.

It’s still a little sore, a simple thing like searching my mailbox for an email reminds me. I’m hoping that feeling fades and I can learn to trust him again. I think I am naturally a jealous person though I try to reign it in and be reasonable but I can see that side of me coming out more. I resent him going out with friends and was really miffed that he’s started logging out of his facebook etc every night (I asked about it, he said he felt like I was checking up on him. I said I shouldn’t have to but he can look through my emails etc any time he likes. He stopped logging it out after that). I don’t want it to be like that but I guess it will take time.

Before Christmas we booked a trip to Dublin for Valentine’s Day. I’m hoping it will help us reconnect and mend what was broken. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Laura Saylor
    Feb 14, 2011 @ 00:06:56

    I am a 34 year old Minnesota woman who has PCOS and who is also having troubles getting pregant. Not only do I have PCOS our main fertility problem has to do with my husband and a few years ago the doctors told us that they only way for us to have a baby is through IVF, which we can not afford. So I totally understand how you feel and many of my days I cry in my car as I an driving to work or as I sit home before my husband comes home from work. We are stuck if we don’t do something soon we will not be able to have a child at all. I also have the problem with losing weight, it plain sucks. I just wanted to know that you are not alone in your troubles and I feel your pain. I’ve never really read a blog before and when I saw yours I just wanted to read it, it makes me not feel so alone.

    Reply

    • 2ctt
      Feb 15, 2011 @ 19:20:57

      I’m so glad you stopped by and said hello. Sometimes I think no one reads anything I say! There’s a large community of us bloggers and you can always join us if it helps.

      Reply

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