Feeling blue

Infertility is one of those conditions where telling everyone would make it harder but it’s still hard if you keep it to yourself. I don’t feel down all the time but the last month has been hard. It seems everywhere I look are pregnant people, new babies and people asking when I am having kids. I know being fertile or wishing a family on someone are not a crime but it still hurts to be reminded of these things regularly.

My period hasn’t shown her face for 3 months now and I don’t know whether I am coming or going. I have been very busy preparing for my new role at work but now I have a bit more down time it’s dwelling on my mind. What’s worse is I keep getting signs my period is going to start but it doesn’t come. I’ve had back ache on and off for just over a week, sore boobs every once in a while, that kinda wet feeling you get when you need to run for a tampon and I’ve been feeling moody as hell. I’m very confused.

OH and I had a chat and I think we are going to start charting once I get my next period, if it ever comes. I’ve been finding it a bit hard to talk about at the moment especially since alot of my thoughts are quite selfish IMO.

I’m going to try and use my blog more as a means of collecting my thoughts.


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