Down, down, down

I’m feeling a bit low today. Actually I have been feeling low a few days but today it was just brought to a head.

Mid week one of my co-workers said something to me that I’m sure he didn’t think was offensive but I found it to be. He asked me if I was a tom boy. People with PCOS I’m sure will understand that you feel pretty self concious about appearing masculine. As if the unwated body hair and spare tyre weren’t enough.

The past few months have been really tough on our finances. So though I normally like to wear fun little dresses and skirts and such to work, the past few months has been pretty much jeans and joggers. I’ve put on a few pounds mostly in my bust and bum so nothing is fitting right now. Plus it’s been damn ass cold! Coldest winter for 30 years people and I’m out the house before 5. I think I wore a dress around christmas that was it. I’ve been feeling quite self concious about it and this new member of staff has sort of reaffirmed my self critiscms. I know if I think about it clearly I will see these things don’t matter but telling you illogical thoughts to listen to sense is not so easy.

Good news is BC has a new job now and hopefully I should be able to move to a new job too. Something without 5am starts. Only good thing about those 5am starts is that if need be I’d be able to make appointments without taking time off. So shopping spree’s? Hardly. but I may be able to get a few things next month yay!

Also getting me down is the lack of cycle. I had little hope of actually being pregnant any time soon but a period would be nice. You know, so I can rest easy somethings ticking down there. I had a tiny spark of hope it might be good news but have since decided my body just wants to f*#k with me.

We’re going to have breakfast now so I think I will finish this another time.



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