Baby bellies everywhere

yet no baby belly for me… just a fatty one.

First up AF stil MIA but I have been getting that weird brownish spotting again so hoping she may be on her way. Second does anyone else feel like there arer pregnant women everywhere? We are moving house and if it’s not current tenants heavily pregnant there are other property viewers pregnant. It’s just too much for me at the moment. I think if I knew where I was with my cycle and my referal it may be a little easier but I am in no mans land right now and to be honest I’m sick of waiting. We’re on a break now for an indeterminate amount of time. Basically until BC thinks it’s ok.

I don’t really thing BC really understands I have this great need to reproduce. To him it’ll happen when it happens. All I can see is numbers though. Numbers of periods I have a year, numbers of months waiting list to see the specialist, number of years till I am 30, till BC’s 50. It all adds up and it’s scary. He’ll say that other things can come first and it’ll be ok then in the next instance he’ll be saying, oh, this house would be perfect for a baby. It stresses me out and confuses me.

I guess I’m just having a down day, we didn’t have the best day yesterday and the bumps everywhere don’t help. I don’t even know if any one reads this but getting it down sure does help.

Oh and remember I started that project? I realised it’s going to go way to quickly when I started cutting out the pattern so I’ve decided on a quilt instead. That way I can increase the size as I go along. I’m still going to keep the same kind of fabrics. Going for a more neutral and blues so it’s gender neutral. When they’re that small no one will care there are butterflies on their quilt lol as long as it’s not pink xD.

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