Waiting on a different kind of baby

I didn’t blog yesterday as for no apparent reason my internet would not connect. For 3 hours. It was annoying. It seems to have fixed itself though… For now.

Since nothing is going on cycle wise, I thought I would blog about something else I’m waiting on. My very first BJD (Ball Jointed Doll). I don’t know about you guys but I was never a barbie lover. If I had a doll it was a baby doll, you know some what realistic. When I happened across some BJD’s on Flickr I fell in love with the idea of owning one. I know some people think doll collecters are weird but I decided I don’t care. So I started my BJD fund. They are pricey little things.

I chose a doll in the 1/4 scale (A quarter of the average females size, 42cm in my case) and showed BC who was happy to support my new hobby. When he got his tax rebate he gave me the remaining amount I needed to buy my doll, which was really lovely of him. She still needs hair and clothes mind you. Each doll is cast to order in resin and take about a month to complete so she should come before Christmas. Certain BJD creators give you a back story to the doll you are “adopting” and sometimes other doll owners make back stories you can adopt for your own doll. It’s kid of a way to make the wait a little easier. A month and a half is a long time to wait, unless you are used to waiting indefinitely.

I’ve realised that infertility has definitely made me more patient. Where as BC gets very agitated when our DVD’s take so long to be delivered (8 days and counting) or when the person he sold to still hasn’t left him feedback. I’m like meh, it’ll happen at some point… Don’t get me wrong I still get excited about things. Especially things that are happening for certain like Christmas, New Years. I’m just more inclined to shrug it off when things are delayed.

It’s such a weird feeling as I used to like to be very organised. Where we’re going, when we’re going, who we’re going with, time, place etc etc etc. I can feel my reigns loosening and loosening as there is just so much I don’t have control over. I just can’t gaurantee my BMI will be low enough after christmas. Even if I work my butt off, obviously I’m not going to starve myself as that’s not healthy either, there are no gaurantees.

I just have to wait, pray and hope that everything works out how it is supposed to. I know I’m sposed to be a mama. I just don’t know when, and I think I’m getting used to waiting.

It’s not a bad thing.

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